Matilda

The ugly parents are awful. OK, we've seen that before (think Harry Potter and the Dursleys).

The ugly principal is beyond evil - and scary to witness.

The pretty teacher is sweet and kind, but - well - ineffective and helpless. Poor kids.

The teacher tells Matilda a tale of her childhood (TOO MUCH INFORMATION) wherein her mom dies and then her father commits suicide, leaving her an orphan in the care of the evil Aunty Trunchbull. This is where I clicked the movie off and told my 6yr old we're getting rid of this film. "What did he do mama? He killed himself?" Thank you SO much, Danny DeVito, for introducing suicide to the kindergarten set.

Finally, Matilda tells her sweet-but-helpless teacher to "adopt me, Miss Honey!" And voila! just like that, papers are stapled together, parents quickly affix their signatures, and Matilda goes skipping off with her new mother. It takes more than that to adopt a DOG.

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