Young Charlie Logan (Cook) plays spin the bottle with a mixed-sex group of friends. Instead of getting the girl of his dreams, he links up with a girl who hexes him. Forever after, he beds a woman and the next boyfriend they have turns out to be her husband. News spreads at a wedding - one of his former girlfriends - and Charlie is immersed in single, attractive women who wish to sexually use him, and then find their future husband. At this same wedding, Charlie meets penguin worker Cam Wexler (Jessica Alba), and he instantly crushes like a school boy. She tells him about how male penguins present pebbles to females, and then they mate for life. Insert foreshadowing.
Unfortunately, the majority of the scenes are with Dane Cook. Anyone who has ever seen Robin Williams' ham it up on stage and in front of the camera for years on end without change should know everything they need to know about Dane Cook, this movie, and every future Dane Cook movie. There are a few funny moments early on, but his shtick gets tired VERY quickly, and the only real laughs come from his vulgar, obnoxious buddy Stu (Dan Fogler), a plastic surgeon. Alba doesn't get nearly enough screen time, but when she is on screen her beauty and sincerity shines - despite her slightly corny physical comedy.
If you're looking for Dane Cook jokes, and vulgarity that feels a bit like a forced version of Superbad and American Pie, then this is your movie. Otherwise, this is a pass. Not even the gorgeous Jessica Alba and a ton of full frontal nudity scenes could save this one from sinking less like a very large pebble.
Jason Elin
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